It's not even 11 am on Valentine's Day and I am having an interesting day. If you think you're having a bad day and just need a chuckle at someone else's expense. I am here for you! Warning for the men: this material may contain some personal information that you really don't want to know but read ahead at your own risk! Women, you may be able to relate.
I had my yearly female appointment this morning. Yes, I know what a day to pick to have this appointment but I don't really think about it in that way. Well, you know they do the usual test for blood pressure, weight, heart rate, etc. By the way, I am so not happy about the weight thing but here I must be considered at a normal weight range because they don't mention it whatsoever. On the East Coast, I would be getting lectured while I was on the scale! Then I proceed to the operatory to meet with the doctor to do a meet/greet conversation. I have to tell her about my health and sexual history. I am honest and let her know that I am not always the "Safety First" girl. Now I was honest about that so why does she want to proceed to ask me why? I mean how do you answer that without feeling like a dumbass and slutty all at the same time? It's like the commercials about virus protection....Because I wasn't thinking and usually I am too inebriated to really care? So the doc pretty much sums it up for me with a "so it's just a fun thing then?" Now if it wasn't fun then why would people even bother having sex? So I was quickly written a prescription for birth control pills and told again about the virtues of condoms. This is all before the actual "exam." Men complain about having to "cough" and having an anal probe but they have nothing on what women have to go through. Complain to me when you have something metal jacking open your ass and probing around in it. The funny thing is about the whole procedure to me is the distracting conversation you are usually forced into while this is going on....."So what do you do on your free time?; Where are you from?" The whole time I'm thinking can "you just get in and get out already." Her diagnosis is that everything seems to be in proper working order but it looks like I may have an allergic reaction/infection of some sort. She assures me that this is pretty common to people that have just recently moved here. Great, so I am allergic to Hawaii! Then she sends me down to get some bloodwork done because there might be a possibility that I may be anemic or possible thyroid issues. So all in all, I have to say I have been poked twice before 11 am on Valentine's Day and I have to say neither was a very enjoyable experience! So now I must await for my results and hope that I am not anemic, have yet another rare infection of some sort, or that I am not running around with some nasty STD! Plus I need to quit smoking, lose some weight (at least by my standards), and become monogamous and start practicing "safety first" in all instances! But really I am in good spirits!
I wish everyone a Happy Valentine's Day and treat your loved ones like it's Valentine's Day everyday!
Love and kisses,
Rosebud
Monday, February 14, 2005
Monday, February 07, 2005
Forget about the Clock...Now I have to worry about the Expiration Date
By "Clock," I mean the all mighty biological clock that women are genetically born with. Now I know that for some of us the ticking noise is still just white noise but for the rest the ticking has become a resounding boom. For me, the sound is on the standard ticking level so in other words it hasn't reached the resounding boom level yet. I do have a game plan somewhat strategized and I also have a plan B if things don't work out with the metaphorical game plan A. With all that figured out, I figured I could spend my time concentrating on other aspects of my life. Or so I thought....
I spoke to my stepmom today for the sole reason of thanking her and my father for something and to give her update about her daughter. Well, during our conversation she brings up that "they" were talking about me the other day. Now "they" could mean her and my father or it could mean them and plus some other 3rd parties that I know do not know me. Unfortunately for me, I believe the latter is true. The conversation was about my "expiration" date. Yes, did you know that we women walk around with an expiration date? That's right. I have reached an age where my shelf life is decreasing quite rapidly. "They" were estimating how much time I have to meet a man, get married, and start a family. Obviously, "they" have concluded that I need to get on the fast track plan. So my stepmom proceeds to explain to me that I should set my standards lower on getting a man. Not in those words exactly but that was the gist of it. She actually does tell me that a man that checks up on me every once in awhile to make sure I am okay or still breathing is good enough. As long as he doesn't treat me bad, she adds. Great...so pretty much throw out compatibility, physical chemistry, and the notion of love out the window! Because these things don't really matter if you are now on the "clearance" rack of people that are not in relationships right now. Well, I know I will sleep better tonight!
Now I have also been told by one of my dearest friends that I need to put an ad out to market myself. She is also worried about my "expiration" date also. It was kinda comical on what she wanted to put into the ad describing me and what I am looking for. The only odd stipulation in this "ad" was that he had to be willing to move to VB. Why all this worry on me finding someone? Is it because I am not so worried so everyone else has to do it for me? And keep coming up with what I have to do so I am not lonely.
NEWSFLASH: I am not a lonely desperate 30 year old single woman ready to jump on any chance I get to have a relationship!
I love my family and friends for caring enough to spend their free time worrying about my love life and making sure I don't reach my "expiration" date without me knowing it. I am well aware of all this and then some. Trust me on that. I just haven't reached desperation level yet. I am just trying to finish school and concentrating on surviving that for now. If a man falls into the picture then that would be a bonus. However, I don't have the time or the energy to put a full page ad out that states that I am an available 30 year old single female looking for any man that is single and ready to get married and start a family ASAP.
Who knows? Maybe when I am 35 my perspective might change but for right now....I am fine REALLY!
Love and kisses,
Your single female Rosebud
I spoke to my stepmom today for the sole reason of thanking her and my father for something and to give her update about her daughter. Well, during our conversation she brings up that "they" were talking about me the other day. Now "they" could mean her and my father or it could mean them and plus some other 3rd parties that I know do not know me. Unfortunately for me, I believe the latter is true. The conversation was about my "expiration" date. Yes, did you know that we women walk around with an expiration date? That's right. I have reached an age where my shelf life is decreasing quite rapidly. "They" were estimating how much time I have to meet a man, get married, and start a family. Obviously, "they" have concluded that I need to get on the fast track plan. So my stepmom proceeds to explain to me that I should set my standards lower on getting a man. Not in those words exactly but that was the gist of it. She actually does tell me that a man that checks up on me every once in awhile to make sure I am okay or still breathing is good enough. As long as he doesn't treat me bad, she adds. Great...so pretty much throw out compatibility, physical chemistry, and the notion of love out the window! Because these things don't really matter if you are now on the "clearance" rack of people that are not in relationships right now. Well, I know I will sleep better tonight!
Now I have also been told by one of my dearest friends that I need to put an ad out to market myself. She is also worried about my "expiration" date also. It was kinda comical on what she wanted to put into the ad describing me and what I am looking for. The only odd stipulation in this "ad" was that he had to be willing to move to VB. Why all this worry on me finding someone? Is it because I am not so worried so everyone else has to do it for me? And keep coming up with what I have to do so I am not lonely.
NEWSFLASH: I am not a lonely desperate 30 year old single woman ready to jump on any chance I get to have a relationship!
I love my family and friends for caring enough to spend their free time worrying about my love life and making sure I don't reach my "expiration" date without me knowing it. I am well aware of all this and then some. Trust me on that. I just haven't reached desperation level yet. I am just trying to finish school and concentrating on surviving that for now. If a man falls into the picture then that would be a bonus. However, I don't have the time or the energy to put a full page ad out that states that I am an available 30 year old single female looking for any man that is single and ready to get married and start a family ASAP.
Who knows? Maybe when I am 35 my perspective might change but for right now....I am fine REALLY!
Love and kisses,
Your single female Rosebud
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