My Valentine's Day so far....

It's not even 11 am on Valentine's Day and I am having an interesting day. If you think you're having a bad day and just need a chuckle at someone else's expense. I am here for you! Warning for the men: this material may contain some personal information that you really don't want to know but read ahead at your own risk! Women, you may be able to relate.
I had my yearly female appointment this morning. Yes, I know what a day to pick to have this appointment but I don't really think about it in that way. Well, you know they do the usual test for blood pressure, weight, heart rate, etc. By the way, I am so not happy about the weight thing but here I must be considered at a normal weight range because they don't mention it whatsoever. On the East Coast, I would be getting lectured while I was on the scale! Then I proceed to the operatory to meet with the doctor to do a meet/greet conversation. I have to tell her about my health and sexual history. I am honest and let her know that I am not always the "Safety First" girl. Now I was honest about that so why does she want to proceed to ask me why? I mean how do you answer that without feeling like a dumbass and slutty all at the same time? It's like the commercials about virus protection....Because I wasn't thinking and usually I am too inebriated to really care? So the doc pretty much sums it up for me with a "so it's just a fun thing then?" Now if it wasn't fun then why would people even bother having sex? So I was quickly written a prescription for birth control pills and told again about the virtues of condoms. This is all before the actual "exam." Men complain about having to "cough" and having an anal probe but they have nothing on what women have to go through. Complain to me when you have something metal jacking open your ass and probing around in it. The funny thing is about the whole procedure to me is the distracting conversation you are usually forced into while this is going on....."So what do you do on your free time?; Where are you from?" The whole time I'm thinking can "you just get in and get out already." Her diagnosis is that everything seems to be in proper working order but it looks like I may have an allergic reaction/infection of some sort. She assures me that this is pretty common to people that have just recently moved here. Great, so I am allergic to Hawaii! Then she sends me down to get some bloodwork done because there might be a possibility that I may be anemic or possible thyroid issues. So all in all, I have to say I have been poked twice before 11 am on Valentine's Day and I have to say neither was a very enjoyable experience! So now I must await for my results and hope that I am not anemic, have yet another rare infection of some sort, or that I am not running around with some nasty STD! Plus I need to quit smoking, lose some weight (at least by my standards), and become monogamous and start practicing "safety first" in all instances! But really I am in good spirits!
I wish everyone a Happy Valentine's Day and treat your loved ones like it's Valentine's Day everyday!
Love and kisses,
Rosebud