Singled Out

Okay it's official...My single girlfriend rankings are dwindling. Out of my girlfriends that I have known for quite a few years, I am now the only one that is single. I have obtained some more recent girlfriends but out that group it is still a minimal number. I can count the amount of single girlfriends I have on one hand. Now that is not a good percentage, I have to say. I know most of my 'coupled up' friends say that I should enjoy being single because its not that peachy in coupledom all the time. Some are jealous because I can do what I want, when I want and with who I want. But.....If coupledom is not so great than why does everyone have a huge desire to be a part of a couple? And why for the rest of us that are not part of coupledom feel 'singled out' ?
For the record, I am not really looking for answers to those questions. I am just babbling about the subject. I believe that both lifestyles has its pros and cons but being single has always had a more of a "bad boy" reputation linked to it. Its like in high school where you had your little cliques: the jocks, the cheerleaders, the nerds, and just the average middle of the road kids. But there was always the cool bad ass kid in your school that everybody wanted to befriend but not get really close to because the kid really didn't have a future past graduation (if the kid made it that far). Well, that's kind of the same feeling you have when you are single amongst the 'couples.' To graduate into coupledom, you have to have a significant other. Hence the 'singled out' theory I have.
Now onto to other nonsensical babble (I am waiting on the dryer to finish so therefore I have nothing else to do).....I keep getting asked this question, "what are you looking for in a man?." My answer has always been "I don't know"...Until now. I think I may have an answer now. I am looking for a person that 'gets' me without having to ask me 100 annoying questions about myself, someone who is secure enough in themselves (not arrogant) that I don't have to play nurse to their emotions and is able to share their emotions like a normal human adult-normal being the operative word. A person that is able to enjoy life and actively live it-not meaning having to be athletic ; ) All I want is a passionate, intelligent, fun-loving, secure man that 'gets' me-being attractive would be helpful ; ) Now is that too much to ask for? Or maybe it is : ( Oh I forgot to add a couple of things- job(does not have to be high paying) and a driver's license ; ) Now that might be too much to ask for ; )
Alright I am done with my babbling....Hope all is well with everyone and as always....Love and kisses

Rosebud

Confessions...

Alright I had an enlightening conversation with my "boyfriend" the other night and I am not sure if I really needed that much enlightening...We were talking about the general subject of being single and "hooking up." Okay for the most part, it is under general consensus that men are the dogs and the women are the toys that they play with. Or at least that's how the majority of the single population thinks. But there are always exceptions to the rules....that's where my role in the convo comes in. We were talking about an outing we had where I ran into a random guy that I had hooked up with a while before. The irony with that was that I ran into him about 100 miles away from the original scene of the crime and I would never thought our paths would ever cross again locally let alone outside of the local area. On top of all that, I had used an AKA with him. Nothing like that situation to come back to bite you in the ass. Now I remembered that part of our outing but my "boyfriend" started telling me about another guy that I obviously got really friendly with at the same bar. Now I am thinking that we are still talking about the same guy but I didn't remember being friendly with him. I just remembered trying to avoid him like the plague. No, my "boyfriend" proceeds to describe another guy. I mean he really is giving me a lot of details about the guy and the situation and I am still scratching my head. Then a slight memory finally comes into my head. Then mortification! I mean I totally forgot about this guy. Wow, this did not happen years ago either. This happened a little over 6 months ago. So now I am thinking how many other guys have I forgotten about? I mean I have been known to forget names (very common) and maybe put a label on them like; Bartender guy, Random tourist guy....you get the picture. I have even introduced a guy to my friends the next day by a totally different name. At least he did have a good sense of humor! Now my dilemma is...is my "looseness and forgetfulness" part of who I really am and it just comes out with the aid of alcohol? You know the whole truth serum philosophy that comes out of a bottle.
Or was/is it just a phase? Maybe I am just proverbially beating myself up about it. I know I am a good person for the most part. I guess I just need to find someone that can settle me down and that I can still remember their name! So for the men out there that I have forgotten your name, face, and even bluntly given you false identity.....I am sorry and I promise I will work on my memory skills. To hopefully more memorable good times ; )

Love and Kisses,
Rosebud

Distracted again...

I should be studying for the many tests, quizzes, and crap for school but again I am finding inane things to do to distract me. For example, writing nonsensical bull#@*! in my blog. I don't have anything in particular to write about or more like anything in particular that I would like to share with the public. School is just not fun. I would rather work 50+ hours a week than do what I am doing now. I have at least 2 more years of this torture. I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel but right now all it looks like is a small pinprick of light showing through. I am not the only one in the situation and I really don't have it bad. I just need to bitch and whine. I have found I have quite a knack for it. Scary, huh? Well, I think I have done enough babbling. I am going to find something else to distract me now. As always....

Aloha,
Rosebud

Hurry up and get here already....

Okay I know that's a little random but it's the only way I can sum up how I am feeling right now. You ever sit for a minute and think about where you are in your life and just get a restless feeling? I know I am tracking and I know the next couple of years will fly by with school and then I can feel like a productive working adult again but......can't it just hurry up and get here already? Eventhough I am tracking with my own goals, I feel like I am missing out on so much of what's going on in everyone else's lives. Maybe because I am so far away and it's not convenient for me to travel to celebrate everyone else's celebrations and milestones. I have friends getting married, having babies, etc. Family celebrating birthdays, milestones, graduations, etc. My pets getting older without me. It makes me sad sometimes even with pictures and phone calls to keep me up to date. I mean I am not ungrateful for these things because it's my lifeline at times. I do treasure them but it's not the same as physically being there. I know I made my choices and by these choices I also made some sacrifices. I know that I don't get a lot of sympathy because I am in Hawaii but paradise has its costs. I am way far...like 5000 miles far. I have learned though that you can never reach enough distance away from issues that plague you but you can reach enough distance to gain perspective on those issues. I am learning a lot about myself here without the security blanket that my family and friends have always provided for me. Although sometimes that "security" blanket was more like a huge oversized smothering comforter; ) I am able to reinvent myself here but what I have come to realize that I don't really need to. I like the person that I truly am. I just needed to find that out on my own I guess. However, with all that said, I still want ? to hurry up and get here already....The true question though now to answer is the "what?" Now wouldn't I just be satisfied if I could figure that out (lol) Probably not....is anybody ever truly satisfied?!
Love and kisses,
Rosebud