Signs thay you may drink a little too much...

This was an old email I had sent out.

Signs that you may drink a little too much....

• You are still recovering on Tuesday from when you went out on Saturday night.
• You refer to different liquors as if they were actual people. For example: Jack, Jim, the Captain, Jose, Johnny.....
• The only relationship that you will admit to being in is with one of the examples from the last "sign."
• You can't remember the last time you pee'd clear.
• You have sprained or broken ligaments or bones while under the influence of alcohol.
• You have "battle" wounds and scars from falling into bushes and/or trees or because the sidewalk wanted to move on you in mid-step. And in your explanation of the battle, it is always the inanimate object's fault.
• The only time you see the sunrise is when you are finally crawling home from going out or if you decided to pass out alfresco style.
• You drink a gallon of water the day after drinking and you don't have the urge to pee until the day after that.
• You have cute little nicknames like "scarecrow" because you resembled the scarecrow from Wizard of Oz when he first tried to walk after having too many.
• You have made friends with inanimate objects like public cement trash cans.
• You have chosen the bathroom floor over your bed.
• You depend on other friend's memories of the evening to confirm what a complete idiot you were.
• The only proof of where you have been the night before are the ink stamps and paper bracelets that adorn your wrists and hands.
• You also have to depend on their memories for random strange people you have shared "PDA" moments with and also a description of them is always a bonus.
• Introduced guys that you met under the influence to your friends the next day by a totally different name than the one they were given at birth.
• If you are still drunk 12 to 24 hours after your last drink.
• If you are a repeat offender of D.U.I.'s (Dialing Under the Influence)
• Ever tried to walk thru a drive thru and not understand why you can't be served at 4 AM.
• Make up words like "sidewalky."
• Stood in an elevator with 3 other friends and it takes 5 minutes for ANYBODY to realize that we are not moving because noone pressed the button."
• Have friends that want to hold an intervention on your behalf.
• Think AA is for quitters and you're not a quitter.
• Have called friends after 2 AM for an emergency pickup because you realize that you are in a different city and state and have no idea where you are. Hmmm....maybe that's why my friends think I need a personal Lo Jack bracelet!
• The term "going low key" coming from you brings fear in the hearts of your friends.
• And last but not least, if you have said the phrase "I will never drink again" more than 10 times in your lifetime you may drink too much.