Gate keeper

I woke up this morning not feeling right in the world. It's a feeling I always try to run and hide from. I am usually successful most days but today it caught me off guard. It hit me at my most vulnerable time of the day. It's that time when my brain hasn't started processing busy thoughts yet to sidetrack any emotions that I have had kept hidden all these years. This morning my brain just wasn't fast enough to do it's job as gate keeper. As I got flooded with past regrets, painful memories, and heartbreaking sadness, I tried to take a deep breathe which turned into a heart wrenching sob. Finally my brain started fighting back with logical and rational thoughts. It did win the battle for today but there will be another weak moment of the gate keeper and I will get attacked again. And maybe that next time my brain won't win the battle against my heart. Would my life be better served if my heart became the gate keeper of my thoughts instead of my brain? Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Posted via email from life as i see it and then some