Some things just need to be revisited now and again...
They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.
You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
You look at your job...and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.
Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot start to look pathetic.
You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself...and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!
What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out!
Rosebud
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5 comments:
Dude, this is a great post.
Really.
I don't want to take away from that.
But you know you're over 3X and you're WAY past the "quarter" in your life, right?
heh heh.
Thanks for reminding me but it doesn't mean that I have all the shit figured out yet....Tell me one 3X that can say that and I will tell you that they are totally deluding themselves!!
And the title surely beats midlife crisis...
Plus didn't you get the memo? 50 is the new 30 ; - )
Rose! Sounds like my life! But it's in South Carolina instead! I love my new home, the area and the friends I've made. But here I am at 50, retired and hating it! I miss being with co workers (dental and squad)I miss my old life as crazy as it was. I sometimes wish I was all alone to make my own decisions whether they are good or bad. But then I'm thankful for the man I'm married to! You'll never figure things out. And when you think you have, something will come along and change the situation and you'll have a whole new challenge in front of you! Trust me! That's just the way it is. Change sucks! But life is good and you have to learn to roll with the punches. We've had this discussion before. Hang in there girl! You're not alone! I'll be there in March. We'll need a night out together! Love you!
Didn't mean for that last post to be anonymous! From Sue Q
Sue,
You are just so awesome!! I can't wait to see you! Things are good on my end but just a little stressful but who isn't a little stressed in their life!
Love you,
Rose
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